Adalyn Rose Foundation's 2024 Empty Stroller Run & Walk

On June 2, 2022, Kyle and I officially become Ollie's parents after a successful frozen embryo transfer!  After months of negative tests, a failed medicated cycle, and a failed IUI, we finally felt like our dream of becoming parents was within reach.  We prayed so hard for Oliver and were so ready to welcome him into our home in February of 2023.  I was monitored closely due to being an IVF pregnancy and also due to an inherited clotting disorder I have, but my pregnancy was uneventful.  On January 12, 2023, at 34 weeks pregnant, I had a regularly scheduled non-stress test and appointment with my OB where they told me Oliver looked "perfect" and even said I could skip my appointment the next week and come back at 36 weeks.  But the next day, our lives changed forever. 

Friday, January 13, 2023 started off as a normal day.  I commuted into the city for work.  I texted my mom and sister that morning from the train telling them that I had a dream of Oliver - he was a toddler and was walking away from me, so I couldn't see his face, but he had a FULL head of hair.  I didn't know at that time just how significant that dream would be.  Kyle and I took the afternoon off work, and he met me in the city.  We went to Reading Terminal Market for, what we thought would be one of our last "days out" alone as a couple before our baby boy joined us in a few weeks.  We ate sandwiches, drank lattes, and finished off with donuts - our usual routine.  That night, Kyle and I went to CrossFit (which I did my entire pregnancy with the approval of my doctor) and returned home.  I FaceTime'ed my mom and sister, like usual, and got ready to wind down for the night.

Oliver was always so active at night.  I used to call it his late night dance parties.  I would play him songs, sing to him, and take endless videos of him kicking in my belly.  But the dance parties never came that night.  I told Kyle that I wasn't feeling him and he tried to calm my nerves, like he always does.  I drank some juice, took a walk to switch over the laundry - all with the hopes that Oliver was just sleeping and I would be able to wake him up.  After some more time passed, I tried using the at home doppler I had and heard nothing.  "I haven't used that in forever, I am probably just doing it wrong," I thought.  But something told me to call my OB and they told me to come in for monitoring.  Somehow, the moment I hung up that phone, I just knew.  I knew that something was wrong.

We raced to the hospital, which was about a 25 minute drive and the whole way, I visualized nurses walking into my room and telling me Ollie was gone.  My mind and body knew and were trying to prepare me.  Getting to the hospital and being put in a room is all a blur.  There was a split second they caught a heartbeat with a doppler but confirmed it was just mine.  After hearing nothing with the doppler, another tech came in and did an ultrasound and it was that moment that my world shattered.  A small, empty black hole appeared in the spot where Oliver's perfect beating heart used to appear and it was confirmed - a mere 24 hours after receiving a "perfect" report, our baby was gone. 

We immediately began to induce labor, and on Monday January 16, 2023 at 5:26 am, Oliver Edward Duffy was born weighing 5 lbs 1 oz and measuring 19 inches long. There will never be silence as loud as that delivery room the moment he was born.  We spent time hugging and kissing our boy before saying our final goodbyes.  I wish I would have stayed longer.  I wish he could have stayed forever.  I now know in my heart that Oliver came to me in my dreams the night before he died to say goodbye.

We later found out that Oliver's death was a result of a small placenta and cord compression that led to a fetal maternal hemorrhage.  Despite all the monitoring and having a healthy, normal pregnancy, this was not something that would have been easily detectable unless the cord compression was happening at the exact moment I was monitored, which it never was.  It is so unfair - we did everything right, and at the end of the day, there is still nothing we could have done differently to save our son.

Kyle and I have a wonderful village of family and friends who helped us survive the unimaginable aftermath of Oliver's death.  But that is not the case for every family.  We are so grateful for the Adalyn Rose Foundation for offering services and donations to families who need it.  The thought of facing endless medical bills and burial costs when all you want to do is survive the death of your child is truly unfathomable.  This foundation is incredible and the people are truly angels on earth.   We are so proud to work together with The Adalyn Rose Foundation to raise funds in memory of our son, Oliver Edward Duffy.  The sweetest boy this world has ever known.  Oliver's memory will live on forever. xo

** The Adalyn Rose Foundation appreciates your support and donations so much. Our mission and initiatives are funded fully through the generosity of our donors and would not be possible without you! From the bottom of our hearts, thank you!